The Spunk
by Checkers
Summary: A parody. Marco meets a guy called Sellimist, and a wish comes true


  
a/n: Yeah, I made Tobias human in this fic. I'm sorry, but it would work if I had him a bird. All right, it probably would work, but I like it better with him human. This is a mainly Marco fic, but it _is_ a parody, so Marco lovers, please don't flame me; because it would only work with him in it. Please read and review, I need all the comments, constructive critisism, etc. I can get. Thanks a lot.

DISCLAIMER: Insert general boring disclaimer here.   
  
  
  
  
  


The Spunk   
(The Problem With Guys Called Sellimist)   


by Checkers   


  
  
  
  
  
  
  


CH 1

Marco wandered along down the street. He was depressed. He couldn't get a date, still. It wasn't fair. Why, why, why, _why WHY _did Tobias and Jake get the ladies? Even Ax had more girls after him that Marco did, that was bad, since no one is supposed to know that Ax is even _on _Earth.   
Marco scuffed his shoe on the pavement. "WHY?" he yelled up at the sky, making a bunch of people stare at him as they walked past.   
Suddenly, all the people stopped. Everything stopped. Time stopped.   
Marco groaned. "What do you want, Ellimist?"   
WHO SAID IT HAD TO BE ELLIMIST?   
"Because you're the only guy I know who stops time whenever they feel like it!" Marco yelled, getting frustrated.   
NAH, IT'S NOT THE ELLIMIST.   
"So who are you?" Marco demanded. "Show yourself! I'm getting sick of yelling at nothing."   
Suddenly, a guy appeared in front of Marco. He was your average teen guy, but one who needed Clearasil, along with a haircut, and nail-clippers.   
"Ewww," Marco said. "Who're you?"   
"I am....Sellimist," the guy said. "But that sounds just like sellophane and sellotape, so, let's just say I'm George."   
"What do you want, George?" Marco asked. "Apart from a years supply of Clearasil?"   
George chuckled. "I am the spirit of all guys who want a date. I step in to help whenever a guy can't get a date, but I will not interfere."   
"Oooh, cool!" Marco squealed. "You can get me a date?"   
George nodded. "Yep."   
"Whoa," Marco said. "Anyone I want?"   
George nodded again. "Yep."   
Marco looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hmm, George, do you mind if I have a bit of a variation on the offer?"   
"In what way?" George inquired.   
"Weeeelll," Marco said. Then he said the rest in a rush. "Doyouthinkyoucouldgetallthewomen   
intheworldtoloveme?"   
George considered. "Weelllll, it'd be against the rules, buuutttt, I don't see why not!" He snapped his fingers. "Consider it done!"   
Marco clapped his hands together. "Cool!"   
"Now," George said. "Anywhere you'd like me to transport you to while I'm here?"   
"Just take me to the other Animorphs," Marco said. "I can't wait to tell Jake!"   
George snapped his fingers.

CH 2

"Jake! Jake! Jake!"   
Jake turned to see Marco skipping along up Cassie's track.   
"Guess what! Guess what!"   
Marco skipped into the barn. Jake was standing, looking leaderish, Tobias was sitting around coz I had no use for him as a hawk, Ax was wondering whether or not lpastic was edible, and niether of the girls were there yet.   
"Guess what Jake!" Marco cried. "When I was down the street, this dude called George the Sellimist made every woman on Earth fall in love with me!"   
"Uh-huh, Marco," Jake commented, not really believing Marco.   
"Whatever you say, Marco," Tobias said.   
We believe you, don't worry,> Ax said.   
"Hey, it's true!" Marco said, pouting. "Just watch! When Rachel or Cassie walks in here, just you see!"   
Just then, Cassie walked in. "Hey, Jake. Hi, Tobias. Hi Ax. Hiiiii Marco." She sidled up to him. "My, you're looking spunky, today, Marco."   
Marco puffed up with pride. Jake gave him a dark glare(tm), and grabbed Cassie by the wrist.   
"You don't like Marco, Cassie," he crooned. "Do you?"   
Cassie pulled herself out of Jake's grasp. "Say, Marco, what are you doing this Saturday night? I'm not doing anything important."   
Jake's eyes practically popped out of his head. "But...but we have a date Saturday!"   
Tobias couldn't help smirking. "You're out of luck, Jake."   
Marco shot Jake an 'Ner-ner-ner! I've got your girlfriend!' look ((c) SW 99), and looked incredibly smug.   
Jake grabbed Cassie by the arm and hauled her out of the barn. Cassie pouted and reached out back for Marco. "Nooooo," she wailed woefully. "Nooooooo!"   
Just then, Rachel walked in. "Marco!" she yelled. "You stole MY HAIRSPRAY!"   
Then the look on her face changed. She wans't angry anymore.   
She didn't just see Marco in front of her now. She saw.....she saw a SPUNK! Sure, later she would wonder about what she had been smoking at that point in time, but at that point, she saw pure, unfiltered spunkiness.   
"Well, hi, Marco," she said, flashing a seductive smile. "What's up?"   
Marco gave her his version of the Fabio look. He thought it looked sexy, but really it just looked stupid. "Well, not much, what about you?" he said, putting on his best deep Fabio voice.   
Ax thought he would be sick.   
Tobias was just plain mad.   
"Hey, hey, hey!" he yelled, stopping Rachel from running at Marco and jumping into his arms. Rachel tried to pull away, but Tobias wouldn't let her. "Go find someother girl to have fall in love you!" Tobias yelled at Marco. "Not mine!"   
"Aww, Tobias a little protective of his girlfriend, is he?" Marco mocked.   
"Yeah, I am," Tobias snapped. "And maybe that's why I can keep one for more than three seconds!"   
Ax drew back in shock. Marco looked as though he'd been slapped. In a way, he had. His ego was getting a big bruise across the cheek where Tobias's words had slapped.   
A tear welled up in Marco's eye. "Oh, you...big..meanie!" Marco squealed. "You're such a.....meanie-moe!"   
Marco ran out the barn, with Rachel fighting to follow him, but Tobias held her back. "Noooooo," she wailed in a tone similar to Cassie's had been. "Marcooooooo."   
Tobias looked back at Ax. "I think we may have a problem," he commented.   
Ax shrugged. Not me. I don't have a girlfriend.>

CH 3

Once Marco got down the street he felt better. All the girls were falling over him, and his damaged ego was recovering.   
"Ooooh, Marco," a girl gasped. "I should have gone out with you when you asked last year! Is it still a date?!"   
"Marco, you are soooo hot!"   
"Marcoooo, I loooove you!"   
The strangest thing Marco noticed about this was that everything sentence seemed to have multiple o's.   
"Marcoooo!"   
"You're hot, Marco baaaby!"   
"Baby! I want to have your babies, Marco!"   
"Marcoooo! Is your favorite color purple, or pink?"   
"Fuschia, actually," he answered   
"Get away! GET AWAY!" a girl screeched suddenly. Marco recognized the voice as Cassie's. "He's MIIIINE! GET AWAY!"   
Cassie shoved through the crowd, carrying a pitchfork to ward off the crazed lovestruck girls. "Marco!" she cried. "Marco! They all say that you're theirs! It's not true! Tell them it's not true! You love me, don't you?"   
Marco was feeling a little nervous. Firstly, he knew if Cassie was here, Jake would most likely not be far away. Plus, Cassie had the pitchfork. She'd claw him to pieces if he answered wrong.   
But what about the mob of girls? They'd be all over him if said yes!   
Oh! The trauma of love!   
"You're two-timing me, aren't you?" Cassie screamed. "You are! You --"   
Suddenly, time stopped again.   
George stood in front of Marco. "Do you still want this?" he asked.   
Marco snorted. "Of course I do! They all want me! Go away!"   
Time started again.   
"-- are seeing Rachel behind my back, aren't you, Marco?"   
"Noo, Cassie," Marco said. "Just put down the pitchfork, okay?"   
Cassie stared at Marco, then she slowly put down the pitchfork.   
"OH!" the mob of girls screamed. "YOU LOVE HER!"   
"No, no, no!" Marco cried. "You're all wonderful! Please, don't hurt --"   
They were all over him. Girls clawing at him, just to get a touch of his skin, a hair, to treasure for the rest of their lives.   
"Marco!" Cassie cried. "Marco, I'll help you! Come, Marco my love!"   
Cassie reached down to grab him, and pulled him away from the mob. They ran from the street, and back to Cassie's house.   
Once they were inside, Cassie locked the door behind them. Both were panting.   
"Thanks," Marco gasped.   
"Anytime," Cassie replied, adding "my love," under her breath. "Would you like a drink?"   
"Thanks," Marco said, regaining his breath.   
Cassie went down to the kitchen, unable to conceal the smile spreading across her face.   
Marco slumped against the wall. He could hear the cries of the lovestruck mob outside, and was starting to think maybe this was a bad idea. He headed down to Cassie's kitchen.   
As he walked, it started to dawn on him. Cassie. In love with him. Locked...in...her...HOUSE!!   
"AAAAAHHH!" Marco yelled suddenly. He made a desperate run for the door, but realized the girls were out there. He looked aroun wildly, when he heard Cassie's voice floating back up to then entryway, "I've got some lemonade, Maaaaarco!"   
"Uh, well, I'd....uh, prefer raspberry!" Marco called back, hoping to stall her.   
"Well, we've only got lemonade, darling."   
Marco could hear Cassie's footsteps. He darted up the stairs, only to run straight into Rachel.   
"Going somwhere?" Rachel asked sweetly.   
"Um, yeah, I was!" Marco yelped, and tried to get around Rachel, and further up the stairs. But Rachel moved to stop him. She wouldn't let him get past.   
"No, no, no," Rachel said. "You're not going anywhere..."   
"Marco!" Cassie screeched. " I KNEW you were seeing Rachel!"   
Marco saw the pitchfork Cassie had picked back up, and before he knew it, she was scrambling up the stairs.   
"I can take it if you're seeing another girl!" she screamed. "You know I love you, but I'd rather see you dead than with her!"   
"You'll have to get through me first!" Rachel yelled. "He's mine!"   
Cassie lunged with the pitchfork, narrowly missing Marco's head. Rachel grabbed the pole and twisted it out of Cassie's grasp. She turned back on Cassie. "Take this!" she shrieked.   
"No!" Marco shouted. "Stop!"   
Neither of the girls heard him. Rachel attacked Cassie, oblivious to Marco's yelling. Marco knew that they would soon kill each other over their love for him. He couldn't help feeling a little spark of pride that it was him they were fighting over, but it was soon burned out when the pitchfork narrowly missed his head.   
"George!" Marco yelled out. "George the Sellimist!"   
AH, SO _NOW _YOU WANT MY HELP?   
"Yes!" Marco screamed. "_Now _I want your help!"   
AH, OKAY.   
Time stopped, as the pitchfork narrowly missed giving Marco a new hairstyle.   
"George!" Marco breathed. "Thank God!"   
"Well, no, thank George," George said, looking miffed.   
"Whatever!" Marco said. "Can you turn off this Mr. Spunky thing now? Cassie and Rachel will kill each other!"   
"But I thought you wanted it this way!" George said. "You said --"   
"Who cares?" Marco demanded. "Just turn it back!"   
"Ah, okay," George said. He snapped his fingers. "Now, when I turn time back on, the Spunky Factor will be turned off. Comprehende vu?"   
"Thank you!"   
"Catch ya later," George said, disappearing.   
"Ah, whaaa...?" Rachel said, dropping the pitchfork.   
So, in the end, Marco still got the new haircut.

CH 4   


Ax was depressed. He never got dates. No. How could he, when no girls knew he existed?   
He sighed.   
Suddenly, time stopped.   
Whaaa...?> Ax asked. Ellimist?>   
NO. SELLIMIST. GEORGE THE SELLIMIST.

CH 5

Rachel sighed. "It's almost kinda cute, watching him with all the girls following him," she commented.   
Tobias held his arm around Rachel tighter. "At least he said all girls except the female Animorphs."   
Rachel nodded her agreement. "I don't think I could stand falling in love with Marco _and _Ax."   
Suddenly, Marco came up. He was wearing a big hat, to hide his hair.   
"Hey, Marco, what's with the hat?" Rachel asked.   
"Nothing," Marco retorted. "Why can't I wear a hat? There's nothing wrong with a hat!"   
"Okay, now I _know _he's hiding something," Tobias said. "Take off the hat, Marco."   
From far off in the distance, all three heard, AAAAH!! PITCHFORK!!!>   


FIN.   
  
  
  



End file.
